Paths 2
I have tried, on occassion, to wonder what it might like to be mad - for my writing - and I've never quite felt I've succeeded.
It's a somewhat frightening feeling to think that might be because I don't actually have to change anything.
That's a little strong - madness conjures images of single-sleeved jackets and really thick blown vinyl wallpaper, but mental illness is a difficult subject to come to terms with. Where do you draw the lines? Asperger's is classified as a delay or retardation in social development... that's it. There are no voices in the darkness, no wringing of hands on axe-handles, no 'heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!'
Symptoms include self-stimulation (which doesn't necessarily mean what you first think), social isolation and withdrawal and difficulty making friends and identifying social clues such as facial expressions and tones of voice.
However, it is also associated strongly with attention to detail, ritualistic attitudes and methods and poor mathematical ability. However, these traits aren't 'requirements' thought they typically accompany the syndrome.
Which means you end up with a shy, withdrawn stickler, who occassionally seems off in a dream world... hardly mad. So why give it a name? I don't want to be a bloody syndrome, I don't want to have me - what makes me difference, the 'Steve-ness' of Steve - taken away, labelled and put back as a disease, a problem or a syndrome.
So what if I don't make friends easy? I get by. My maths, thankfully, is pretty damn good, and if I've an attention to detail and a talent for methodology and ritual, well then don't play me at trivial pursuit, and give me a job where I have to check things. My pattern recognition is outstanding.
The line has been drawn, and it's ushering everyone that isn't 'mainstream' into little holes where they can be 'treated'. For what? Variety is the spice of life! I don't want to be like everyone else - I don't like the Spice Girls, or curry, or beer. I'm me, and that's good enough.
What next? Is being gay a 'syndrome'? After all, it's that little bit different from 'normal', isn't it. What about phobias? Irrational fears, by definition, represent a mental aberration of some sort.
And yet, I don't want my daughter to have to go through the childhood I did. No-one understood what I was doing, least of all me, and I could never really get across what I meant, or what I wanted. Autism is far, far beyond Asperger's, to the point where the disorder causes real, genuine problems in every day life. Asperger's simply requires a slight adjustment of perspective... I hope.
It's a somewhat frightening feeling to think that might be because I don't actually have to change anything.
That's a little strong - madness conjures images of single-sleeved jackets and really thick blown vinyl wallpaper, but mental illness is a difficult subject to come to terms with. Where do you draw the lines? Asperger's is classified as a delay or retardation in social development... that's it. There are no voices in the darkness, no wringing of hands on axe-handles, no 'heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!'
Symptoms include self-stimulation (which doesn't necessarily mean what you first think), social isolation and withdrawal and difficulty making friends and identifying social clues such as facial expressions and tones of voice.
However, it is also associated strongly with attention to detail, ritualistic attitudes and methods and poor mathematical ability. However, these traits aren't 'requirements' thought they typically accompany the syndrome.
Which means you end up with a shy, withdrawn stickler, who occassionally seems off in a dream world... hardly mad. So why give it a name? I don't want to be a bloody syndrome, I don't want to have me - what makes me difference, the 'Steve-ness' of Steve - taken away, labelled and put back as a disease, a problem or a syndrome.
So what if I don't make friends easy? I get by. My maths, thankfully, is pretty damn good, and if I've an attention to detail and a talent for methodology and ritual, well then don't play me at trivial pursuit, and give me a job where I have to check things. My pattern recognition is outstanding.
The line has been drawn, and it's ushering everyone that isn't 'mainstream' into little holes where they can be 'treated'. For what? Variety is the spice of life! I don't want to be like everyone else - I don't like the Spice Girls, or curry, or beer. I'm me, and that's good enough.
What next? Is being gay a 'syndrome'? After all, it's that little bit different from 'normal', isn't it. What about phobias? Irrational fears, by definition, represent a mental aberration of some sort.
And yet, I don't want my daughter to have to go through the childhood I did. No-one understood what I was doing, least of all me, and I could never really get across what I meant, or what I wanted. Autism is far, far beyond Asperger's, to the point where the disorder causes real, genuine problems in every day life. Asperger's simply requires a slight adjustment of perspective... I hope.
posted by Moghal at
12:44 PM
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